Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Quote Of The Day: No Fat Chicks

Est-ce que tu as un plan ? Je me suis perdu dans tes yeux.

"You know what happens is a pretty girl walks down the aisle and you say, 'Boy, I'd like to take her to the prom.' But there's also one who's tried and true and you know is going to be there."
--Chuck Neinas, Interim Big XII Conference Commissioner 

Of course, he is speaking about Mizzou checkin' out that hotty the Southeastern Conference, with her strawberry blonde hair, and huge rack, and... uh, never mind.

This all would imply the Big XII is an ugly but loyal chick.  So, take that how you will.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

How To Throw A Bitchin' Celebration


Prior to Saturday's Iowa-Iowa State in-state rivalry game, much ado was made about the new trophy depicting a farmer presenting a family with corn, because, you see, Iowa has corn.

So, since that was stupid and had nothing to do with football, or was not retro or vintage enough to be considered charming or cute, the Iowa Corn Association (?) scraped it and created an interim award.  And after the game on Saturday, they will need to find of a replacement again soon.

Iowa State, having only won the game twice in eight tries since 2003, won the game and threw an awesome party on the sidelines.  Now, I'm not a huge proponent of students rushing the field after marginal victories against decent rivals whom they have been competitive against in recent memory (i.e. Arizona State after beating Mizzou on Friday), but if a mob rushes the field and wrecks shit, then by all means enjoy yourself.  Click here to see the new interim trophy ripped in pieces and lost to history at the 1:50 mark (please disregard the stupid questioning by usually tactful Jim Knox.  That wins a nomination for the Lisa Salters most douche question award).

(Manipulated headline photo via)

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

This Crappy Commercial: April 2011-September 2011

"We are...an overused marketing gimmick!"
After airing over fifty billion times on multiple networks, this commercial needs to die now.  This white guy dancing was never funny, AT&T, and it has effectively made me hate advances in cellular phone technology.

Watch it here, because you have never seen it before...:

Via YouTube commenter sapher2020, something I had not thought about before but makes absolutely no sense.

"If the flash mob was moved to 12:30 then what are those other assholes doing there a half an hour early? Were they just planning on standing there for 30 minutes the whole time in their trench coats"

Yeah, no shit.  Assholes.  Flash mobs suck because of this...and punk kids.

(/scowls and shakes fist from porch)