Sometimes, I will read books. Yes, I know, it is the 21st century, but bear with me. My favorite book is F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby for various reasons that aren't important at the moment. I have watched every movie version of the book, all of which are criticized by fan boys like me for leaving something out or doing something differently. So, you cannot imagine my joy at the announcement of another version of the movie currently in production. Announced in 2008 or something, it is supposed to release next year some time (but probably not).
In more recent versions of the movie, Nick Carraway, the investigative narrator of the story, has been played by Sam Waterston, and, oddly enough, very well by Paul Rudd. In the new Baz Luhrmann venture, everyone's favorite Peter Parker, Tobey Maguire, is slated to be the new Nick Carraway. But, why?.
Go ahead and jump...and feel my rage.
My problems with Mr. Maguire run deep, let me tell you.
My first experience with Tobey Maguire came when while watching SNL reruns. I think he was in a 2000 episode, so it was before the acting and writing was embarrassing. Maguire was not funny, but at the time I gave him credit. He seemed like a young hot-shot actor coming off of the success of The Cider House Rules. But, the only reason that movie was half-way decent is because MICHAEL CAINE WAS IN IT! If you didn't know, there will only be Michael Caine love in this forum, so If you have bad things to say about Michael Caine, then you are truly un-American. And you probably think that whole Revolutionary War thing was a bad idea. Anyway, Tobey Maguire may or may not be responsible for the downfall of NBC.
Putting that aside, and call me biased, but every Spiderman movie sucked, and Spiderman as a superhero sucks. He shoots webs and flies around the city. There is no ass kicking that is legit (I will get to that), and he was bitten by a mutant spider. A mutant spider, really? Superman was from a different planet. Batman was a rich badass with a bunch of toys (oh, and a physique by the way). But, Peter Parker/Spiderman suck. There is no personality. He doesn't follow the superhero trope of save the world from a sticky situation, and then say something cool, which is what a SUPERHERO IS SUPPOSED TO DO!
Plus, the idea of a journalist who isn't a pussy, no, I will not stand for that. There is no doubt Tobey Maguire plays a great Peter Parker, but I think Gilberg's midget brother could probably kick the crap out of him.
Maguire has zero personality, no real skill as an actor because in every movie he plays a lifeless, clueless background character, and any time he opens his mouth nothing intelligent happens. Some could call that bad writing, but it is hard to write dialogue for dog crap as well. Not comparing Tobey Maguire to dog crap, but I mean, he pretty much is a large piece of crap..
Here are some more clips and stuff that show just how lifeless and bad Gatsby could be.
I never saw this movie because he was in it, but I'm sure it sucked:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuAcKzWl3fw&feature=channel
Plus, this disturbing scene from the travesty Spiderman 3:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLqsdPUfnno
I have also been informed by my roommate that he sucked in Joyride, and if you haven't seen that movie you probably aren't missing anything.
So, how does this relate to the movie. Wellllllllllll, let me tell you:
1. Tobey Maguire lacks personality, and although Nick Carraway is mainly of vehicle used to tell the story from all perspectives, allowing the story to be told through Maguire will only help to put cinema-goers to sleep.
2. What Waterston and Rudd had that was great was the range to sink into the background when the story called for it, and take over when needed. Maguire has never shown this ability during his career.
3. With all of the other choices out there (I've heard people say John Hamm, Joseph Gordon-Leavitt among others), I cannot imagine this is the best choice.
4. AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! BAD ACTING!
5. Spiderman sucked.
Although I hate to do this, these people seem to be the only ones trying to oust this "ROBOT" from a potentially decent movie, so get on your Facebooks and do some things and stuff, I don't know. Because Facebook is the overall leader of protests and stuff.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Stop-Tobey-Maguire-from-destroying-The-Great-Gatsby-2012/103569163047560
The rest of the cast seem fine (Carrie Mulligan better be DAMN good). Maguire seems left out, he doesn't fit the mold. Bring Paul Rudd back, something, I don't know. This pretty much sums it up though.
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